A Wrinkle in Time... Pt. II

2008

The house was quiet tonight. Most of the gang had gone out for some bubble tea, but I had to work tomorrow morning and wanted some extra rest. Plus, I had a date on Friday. I really liked this new girl. Of all the ones I’d dated the past few years, I’d never been more excited than I was now. It had only been a week, but perhaps it would turn into something serious. It’d been a long time since I’d felt this way.

A crack of thunder reverberated through the old house and for a moment, dizziness overwhelmed me. I stumbled towards the front door.

Outside, the sky looked like a sea of shifting blackness. I slumped down on the porch and rubbed my forehead. Something was happening, but whether it was just a headache or the pressure from school getting to me, I wasn’t sure.

Rain started to fall. Not hard, but in gentle sweeps that belied the fierce crackling of thunder. In the distance, two bolts of lightning lit up the sky. When they did, I spotted a stranger at the end of my driveway. He was about average height and thick through the shoulders. His black hoodie hid his face. 

CONTINUE TO READ HERE

How to be Perfect

Sweat rolled down my face as I slowed to walk. I strolled down Cameron Street and checked my phone to see how far I’d run. Nearly one and a half kilometers without stopping. Nice!

For most runners, that would have been a joke. But for someone who was only starting to enjoy it, it was a big deal. Today, for the first time, I felt different. Not joy, exactly. More like emotional relief. As much as I loved the gym, not even a great day lifting weights gave me this feeling. I guessed that there were some physiological or psychological reasons for this, whether it was the way the endorphins were released or that it was something I’d never been good at, but running had suddenly become a different experience.

So why had it changed? And why now?

Continue reading at Stephenrburns.info 

Roberto Osuna and a Day in the Life

My eyes snapped open. I groaned and rolled over to check the time. 5:34am. Shit. I turned on my side and tried to fall back asleep, but my mind had started moving in accelerated fashion, flooded with thoughts of failure and anxiety. I forced myself to stay in bed and drifted off. I woke up again a while later and tried to check the time on my cell phone. I had difficulty picking it up. My hand wouldn’t stop shaking.

I grimaced. I knew what was coming, and with my shaking hands, it took me a while to punch in a short message to work. Sick again. I didn’t get paid when I didn’t work, and this had been happening far too often lately. I took a deep breath. Though I’d messaged work I was going to be absent, I tried to get up. Tried to fight it.

Nothing.

My body did not cooperate. I lay there, overwhelmed, as tears filled my eyes. There was nothing for me to do but wait. After about an hour I drifted into semi-consciousness. I dreamed I’d run over a family with my car. It didn’t make sense, but my dreams rarely did on days like this. There was nothing to do but stare at the ceiling.

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When the Shadows Come

            I looked down at the busy street below. I was sitting in my usual spot on the balcony, twenty floors up. Sunlight glinted off the tall buildings around my condo, and the sound of a jack hammer echoed along the street. It was another bad day. There’d been too many lately, so many I couldn’t remember the last time the clouds had lifted. I’d dealt with depression since my early twenties, but this was probably as bad as it had ever been.

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NEW SITE: GO THERE!

As of today, all my posts and blogs will be at a new site.

STEPHENRBURNS.INFO

Thank you for coming to this site over the years, and for walking the journey with me. I'd love to see you at the new place!!

Stephen

Changes Coming

No one needs to tell you that change is hard, and that sometimes life can just about rip your guts out. We all go through it. This past year saw me put much of my life on hold... just to find myself again. I've documented the effect of those changes in my life and how difficult they were, how many days I spent not wondering if I wanted to even bother trying anymore.

This is the impact of not only drastic life changes but my own battle with mental health issues. I've been largely silent over the years with my struggles with depression, except for the odd essay. No more.

I've experienced what happens when we try to hide, when we think we can overcome these things by ourselves, when we refuse to admit that we are sick and have limitations. I've also seen what happens when people embrace who they are, without shame, and reach out. A number of people have reached out to me this past year, some because they wanted to help me, and others because they needed help. And in both instances, the results were stirring. I will continue to advocate for my tribe, and that will be one of a few changes coming to this site.

As well, I'm hoping to have a cleaner, more professional looking site very soon. I do as well as I can when it comes to web design, but I'm no expert, and quite frankly, graphic design isn't one of my strengths. But even if you aren't interested in my books, every reader who comes here deserves a good experience. My goal over the next six months is to improve that experience for you.

THE WRITING

I've written a thousand words a day for almost twenty five years... until last year. And I am still only starting to get my groove back. (Thank you, Angela Bassett) Creative writing -- hell, any writing -- is extremely exhausting, both mentally and emotionally, and this past year I just didn't have the energy.

With the arrival of the new year, however, I have started writing again. WINTER, the third book in my series, is nearly complete. I've also started a new novel, AFRAID OF THE DEAD, which will kick off a new detective series. It's always fun to stretch yourself as an artist, and AOTD is a new challenge for me. I'm looking forward to finishing the first draft.

OTHER CHANGES

I'm so grateful for the help I've received over the years, and the encouragement from my readers from my first two novels. With your permission, I'd like to connect with you more this year, My goal is to not only build my audience, but give you, the reader, more insight into what I'm doing and hopefully, receive more feedback from you.

One of the advantages of the digital revolution is that an author can now connect more easily with their reader. And this year, I look forward to getting to know you all as well as I can, and creating a community that talks not just about books, but life as well.

We're all in this together, and I hope you'll all take the journey with me.

-Steve

NOTE: You can sign up for my mailing list on the link at the top right hand side of my web page. Or shoot me an email or connect with me on Facebook (My BIO/ contact page). I'd love to hear from you.