The Power of Fear

No one understands the power of fear better than a novelist. No one. We use it like a mathematician uses a calculator. It is part of our DNA, part of what create, if only because we understand it to be one of the most powerful forces within humanity.

Some would suggest that love is more powerful, and certainly, all novelists try to show that love is indeed powerful and redemptive and is the better choice. But nothing replaces fear.

Nothing.

A character motivated by fear will do anything, and they won't be rational about it. That gives an authour a great deal of room to play with, not because it's a stupid plot device, which it can be, but because it's true. A human reacting out of fear is unpredictable, because what we would deem as "logical" no longer applies. Now in fiction, you still have to be careful, but if you emphasize how frightened a character is, you can have them do anything.

And people will believe it.

We all understand what it's like to be afraid.. We get it. We've been there. We've felt our stomach churn, felt our knees get weak, felt the jolt of terror run through our limbs. We've all felt it and responded in way that make no sense.

ISIS

Take the current refugee situation. Many people in the West are responding in fear. They are saying things about the refugees that have no basis in fact. But facts don't matter when someone is scared. Think about it. That horrible little group of ignorant murderers called ISIS has everyone dancing. And not in a good way. They have Christians suggesting that poor women and children should be denied a home. They have kind people suggesting that the world has changed, so no, they won't help anyone either. They have people who have never cared about the plight of any foreigner being given a huge microphone.

That is the power of fear.

Fear is, without question, the easiest and quickest way to control people.

Again, this is something every artist knows, but in the realm of the novelist, it is an ancient truth. The simplest stories, those of serial killers and yes, terrorists, expound on this like its play day at an elementary school. But even the more complex works rely on fear as a driving force within their works.

Most of the memes and anecdotes regarding ISIS and the terrorists have no basis in truth. And yet, people spread them anyway. They don't care if the stories are true. They don't care if the facts don't match up with the truth. They don't care if they're being led like bulls with a nose ring to be slaughtered. They don't care because they are afraid, and once you get people scared, you can do whatever you want.

The irony is that most of these people claim to be tough. They want more guns. More military. More freedom to do whatever the hell they want when it comes to protecting themselves.

And yet... they're full of shit. The same people who advocate for guns want no part of starving children and women and refugees due to the minuscule chance that one of those people may turn against them. This is the power of fear.  The ones who act macho and with so much swagger and scoff at "bleeding heart liberals," are the biggest cowards you'll ever find. That such a thing is illogical (A Visa makes FAR more sense for a terrorist) has no impact on them.

They are afraid.

They've been raised in fear. Soaked in it. (Why do you think they protect the 'right' to not only bear "arms," but carry automatic weapons. Because they're tough?) They are more worried about protecting themselves than listening to reason.

Or compassion.

This past week, a couple of local churches got together to sponsor two Syrian families. These churches are Mennonite in origin, and pacifists. A gun would never interest them, nor does military action. And yet, in the next two weeks, despite all the nonsense about terrorism and the fear being slung across the internet like a dog's drool, two families will have a new home in a new country.

They are not afraid.

Novelists understand this contradiction. However, we have to be careful. The obviousness of such things doesn't always translate to the page as believable. And when you write about fear, you can't simply illustrate what is so obvious in society. If you do, it will feel more like a Children's story than something for adults to consider.

So when you're doing your revisions, remember that fiction is unlike real life. Our job, as writers, is to provide a mirror for society, but if it's too obvious, too clean, people will reject your work because no one will believe it.

You can do it, but make sure it's subtle. Why? Because most people hate looking in the mirror, especially when they're under the grip of fear.

-Steve

D&D: Who Are You?

(Have you tried the Monday Challenge yet? You won't be disappointed. Give it a whirl!)

There’s a full length mirror in the hallway in our building that my wife and I both like. It stretches you out, so if you’re short, like my wife, it projects you as being a bit taller. And if you’re built like a brick shithouse, like me, it almost gives you the illusion of being lean. But even mirrors that reflect more accurate dimensions don’t tell us much about ourselves. Self-reflection doesn’t always work either. It can help, but there are really only a couple of things that can give us an accurate picture of who we are. The first is the way others see us. The role we fill in their eyes. (the caregiver, the comic, the perky happy girl, the intellectual, etc…) Who they believe we are matters, because we usually act to meet people’s expectations. (Which is why you always hear psychologists talk about setting high standards when you’re leading people, for example.) The second, but more important way to understand who we are is to figure out the self-narrative that drives our actions. If your life was a story (and it is), what would that story be? If there was a film about your life, what would the theme be?

Until we know we are, or at least understand the narrative that drives us, it’s impossible to think about pursuing our dreams. Over the years, I've worked with a number of young adults who had no idea what their dreams were, no idea what they wanted from life. Now part of that goes back to our environment as a child, how healthy or unhealthy it was, and subsequent issues as a result of it. And sometimes it’s clear to people what they want at an early age. I have friends who wanted to be writers when they were twelve, and have never wavered. But for the rest of us (I didn’t figure out the writing bug until I was twenty three) even the concept of dreaming isn’t part of our makeup. Or maybe we had a dream, but for whatever reason, the opportunity passed us by, and now we’re supposed to “move on”, but have no idea how to do that.

The easiest way to understand who you are, is to figure out what stories you find compelling. What kind of books do you like? What kind of movies do you watch? Why do you like certain types of music or certain bands? There’s a reason you like action films with strong female leads (as rare as that is). There’s a reason why you like that indie band that talks about life in the suburbs.

Humans connect to one another through story. That’s the link, and it’s the reason certain people connect more easily to some than others. Look at your friends. Why do you like them? What is it that you find so compelling about them? What’s their story?

There are other ways to figure out who you are, of course. Like taking a personality test. (I recommend the Myers-Briggs) But understanding the story you tell yourself is more important than even understanding the particular characteristics of your personality. We profoundly influence ourselves more than any person we’ll ever meet, and often that persuasion is negative. We tell ourselves that we’re just a mother, just another guy at the post office, just another ______.

This week, take a few minutes to think about the stories that you identify with, and ask yourself why they register. Why they mean so much to you. Once you begin to understand your story, you’re ready to change it. To create something new and profound. It won’t happen all at once, but if you're patient, you'll find the journey more rewarding than you ever imagined. 

Steve

How to Escape the Spin Cycle (Some Keys To a Better Life)

“Hey, bro.”

I hold my cell loosely against my ear and glance at the clock. 12:17 am. I’m not even close to being tired.

“Well,” Mark says. “I read your blog. A nice heart warming read... What’s up?”

“I’m not sure. Just one of those weeks, I guess.” I pause. “I’m looking for another job. I can’t do this, pal. I’m never going to make it.”

“What about the writing?” Mark says.

“I’ll always write. But I’m tired of having nothing. I’m tired of not being able to go out, or buy another pair of shoes, or being able to afford a date. I’m tired of looking at my bank account and wondering if I can make it through the week. I’m 35 years old, and what have I got? I needed a break, pal… and, well, it just hasn’t happened.”

Mark is quiet for a moment.

“That sucks, and I get it, but I just think you’re so close. I really think you just have to hang in there. Your work is good.”

I lean forward and think about all the “dream books” I’ve read.

“I don’t know, maybe I’ve been an idiot. Dreams suck.”

Even as I talk I’m thinking about how nice it would be to go shopping with, well, money. I’d bumped into an old friend today at the mall who’d just started working on a screenplay. When he heard I was a writer, he was even more excited. Only instead of being excited with him, mostly I was annoyed. I wanted to tell him not to bother. That the gods of the dreamers and artists, the publishers and patrons, were a capricious bunch. I’d bit my tongue, but it wasn’t easy.

Mark is quiet.

“Listen,” he says finally, “I really think your work is good. You get waylaid when you start thinking about your age and where you should be and all that stuff.”

“Yeah.”

We chat for a little while longer. When I hang up, I am somewhat encouraged. It isn’t the first time Mark’s given me a pick up. I pull out my work and start writing. Two hours later, I am worn and tired. It’s time to head outside for a break.

The sky is clear tonight, and it’s finally warm enough to stand on my stoop outside the front entrance without shivering. It’s been a long week, although in many aspects it isn’t much different from the last month, not on the surface at least. I’m still working for almost nothing. Still enjoying my co-workers and housemates. Still enjoying the interaction with the customers. Still writing. And yet, there’s a sense of routine that has crept into my life and has brought discouragement with it. Unfortunately, I'm not sure why things have changed. I understand that there is a rhythm to life, ups and downs that we do well to ride and not fight. That said, I can feel the change in my outlook, and it needs to be addressed.

The breeze picks up as I move down from my stoop and stroll down the driveway under the empty sky. The moon’s silhouette shimmers off to my left. A few birds have woken early and their scattered song reminds me of the late hour. It a funny thing about the human experience, but we do everything in cycles. Most of us have heard the expression that people are “creatures of habit”, and it’s true. Nothing we do is ever truly spontaneous, even for the most unpredictable personalities. We couldn’t survive if we did, but that said, it still has tremendous implications for our lives.

The routines we create for ourselves are based on the culmination of our life experience; our childhood, our past and current relationships, and yet rarely do we consider the reasons why we do the things we do. We certainly aren't programmed to make the “healthy” choice.

The sad truth is that most of our choices are based on convenience, pleasure, or fear. And that includes our religious choices -- the church we attend or don't attend. The God we believe in or choose to ignore.

What follows then, is that we entrap ourselves into habits that are actually destructive, relationships that smother us, faith that binds us, and jobs that drain life from our soul. And the most frustrating aspect of this human tendency is that we have the ability to change it. Too often we get trapped in this “spin cycle” and believe there is no way out. We spin and spin and church and churn until our lives become one long unpleasant dream.

People can only ask “what if” and “if only” for so long. If we don't escape the spin cycle life will eventually wear us down, and instead of feeling renewed and empowered, we will become critical. We'll mock others who are trying to make it. We'll scowl at those still enthusiastic about life. And we'll sniff (especially at the younger generations) about what it’s like in the “real world”. In other words, we contract the deadly virus of "trapped reality" and spread it with every brush of contact with other humans. We are unhappy, and we unconsciously pull others towards our own unhappiness to make us feel better. (Misery loves company.)

So the only question then, is how do we change it? And what happens when we realize that our life suddenly sucks?

First, understand that it isn't 'sudden', though it may feel that way.

Everything we do flows out of who we think we are and what we expect from the world around us. Happiness is achieved when we close the gap between our assumptions about what our life should be like and what we perceive it to be.

Notice that I didn't say how it "really is." (And I'm giving away my leaning towards post modern thought here) How it "really is" can't be subjectively defined. For example, I'm 35 years old. I work in a cafe. That's true, and if that was the whole truth, it would be easy to judge my life accordingly. However, I'm also a full time graduate student and striving to make a go of it as a full-time writer. I do not see myself as a failure, but as one striving towards the future for something better. What matters then, is not what others perceive about my situation, but how I see it. That's why we must be careful when considering the counsel of others, because the standards they are using are always different then our own.

Unfortunately, too often we listen to the wrong people and end up in spin cycles... (especially when it comes to jobs) simply because we accept other people's version of our reality?!
So to escape the natural trap, we have to learn to examine our own motifs on why we do the things we do, and why we're not able or willing to change them.

For me, one of my largest struggles is money. I don't know why I've historically been terrible with it, although I have a few ideas. What I do know, however, is that fear is involved. Suze Orman, the famous financial guru, asks her potential clients this question first when she addresses their finances: "What are you afraid of?"

I've spent the past week thinking about that. What am I afraid of? What is holding me back?

The key in the spin cycle is not to change just anything, but to find the idea or the root that is causing us to make the same bad decisions over and over. And how do you find the root cause? It's easy enough. Just think of the things that cause your emotions --sadness, fear, anxiety, anger -- to flash, and you will find the root. That which is without an emotional connection we are able to let go, but any memory or belief attached to an emotion is nearly impossible to release. (It's like sticking your hand into a pail of honey and then grabbing a loose roll of toilet paper) Not without dissecting it first, and perhaps getting some healing.

Second, once we realize where our emotions are most sensitive, we need to create a "blank spot" in our minds. No, it isn't some new age, voodoo mind trick. What I mean is that we pretend that there is no emotion. It's an acting trick, but it's an effective way to help us deprogram some of the more destructive habits in our lives. When you get up tomorrow, be someone else. Be the woman who you see in the mall striding along with confidence. Be the man you saw talking easily and casually with a couple of ladies at the restaurant. Be the university colleague who always seems so popular. Be the person you imagine that you would like to be, and make choices as if you were that person.

This is not a matter of authenticity. It's still you.

Remember, the core of who we are is not what others see. Our core, the "real us", is the person we long to become.

I know, I know, I can hear the comments already. "Steve, the person you are is how you behave." Nonsense. Even God, speaking to one of his prophets who is going to choose a king, says to his prophet (Samuel) "Man looks at the outward appearance, God considers the heart." (1 Sam 16:7) Our 'outward appearance' is our behaviour, and while it can give us clues as to who we are, it isn't the full picture. This is the reason we should always try to see the best in people, and encourage them accordingly.

Spin cycles occur when we lose sight of God's picture of who we can be, of who we were created to be, and in turn, who we really are. The Spin cycle is the product of a distorted view of self (and God) which prevents us from making the necessary choices to change the things that need to be changed.

My prayer this week is that you will identify at least one spin cycle in your life, and address the root emotion and cause behind it. If your spin cycle is a little bigger, as mine seems to be, maybe its time to do a little 'acting', and create the character that meets with the missing, unexpressed part of who you are. And finally, that you would understand that you are loved by your Creator, and that you were created the image of God for the purpose of serving those around you. If you don't, you'll inevitably move into another spin cycle. We were not given this life to live in endless pleasure, endless fear, or perfect convenience. We were created to serve God by loving Him and loving one another, and so long as we remember that, we can close the gap between whatever discouragement we are facing and the contentment that comes when life is no longer just one long routine.

-Steve

Note: I can hear the comments already. Yes. I believe in absolutes, especially when it comes to the care and responsibility of our family. However, too often we still use behaviour and isolate it as "the sole expression" of another person and define them accordingly. How lucky are we that God judges us differently. We would do well to learn from Jesus I think, but it's just a thought...

The Death of Fear

One Life, Many Lifetimes

When I was kid, I wanted to be a hundred things when I grew up. It became a running joke around the house, much of it dependent on the last movie I'd seen or the last book I'd read. When I was eleven, I wanted to be a professional break-dancer, because I'd just seen the movie, "Breakin'". At various times I also wanted to be a professional boxer, professional baseball player, TV commentator, actor, writer, wildlife biologist, radio personality, teacher, or homicide detective. I also wanted to be Indiana Jones, but when I found out he was a professor, I wasn't that interested. Mainly I wanted the whip and the hat. I also wanted to play in the NBA, but I was intuitive enough to know that at 5'6" (until my growth spurt punched me up to 5'9" in Grade 10) with very little athletic ability in the way of jumping or speed, I probably would never be good enough or tall enough.

These days, my dreams haven't changed a whole lot. I still want to be a thousand different things. At thirty-five however, my choices are somewhat limited. For example, I'd be a veteran player in professional baseball, perhaps the most un-athletic of the major sports. Wildlife biologist, well, I'm not sure I have time to go back to school for that one. The same is true for being a homicide detective with a witty repartee and weathered fedora. (On the plus side, Indiana Jones may still be available since Harrison Ford has decided to return to the whip and hat at the age of 87) Sometimes, this gravitational pull towards so many things is not helpful. A number of people my age have already established themselves in one field or another, and I have moments when I wish I wasn't so "spread out", moments when I wish my interests were more limited. It'd be easier, but in the end, it wouldn't be me.

My situation is not uncommon. In our culture today, many of us will hold down four or five positions over our working life. Unlike my parents' generation, who worked many years for the same company, there are very few gold watched being handed out. These days our culture will give us one life; the same as any other generation, because that is all what we humans are given. But it will also give us many lifetimes. And therein lies the rub.

Not everyone is filled with multiple dreams (or such a short attention span) but within all of us lies two or three issues, two or three driving forces or ideals around which our lives coalesce. That is, two or three themes upon which our lives will continually orbit. These themes are the echo of our learning, our childhood, our experiences, our desires, our needs and our hopes, and they manifest themselves consistently, even if we are unaware of what they are. Self-awareness begins when we recognize what these themes are. And once we recognize who we are, we have the ability to mobilize ourselves towards that, which is intrinsic within us. That is, once we know what dance we do best, we know what music to listen for so that the dance matches the music. When that happens, when we have congruency between who we are, and what we are moving towards, we begin to find the contentment that all of us seek.

One life. Many lifetimes.

What fear does, and what makes fear so powerful, is that it tells us that this lifetime, this temporal space of time, be it five months or five years or fifteen years, IS our life. It tells us that if we leave or move from one lifetime to another, even for a minor adjustment such as a job promotion or a change in living quarters, we are in effect dissembling who we are. Fear is a toxic mix of half-truths and bad experiences, locked within a temporal and non-teleogical philosophy (no God, no Ultimate Good). It is, in my estimation, the most insidious of human enemies because it masks itself so easily. It is often difficult to recognize outside the corporal walls of self. (We rarely know when fear is the true motivator behind another's actions, especially when it is well masked within the cores of rationalization and justification).

I mention this because understanding who we are, and moving towards that GRAND goal, is always blocked by one thing. One enemy. And that enemy, is fear. Fear is capable of turning the staunchest defenders of faith and mercy into sword wielding Bible beaters, of turning the most optimistic people into doubters, of arresting the entire lives of a certain individual through one or two reminders of past failures. Like a virus, it spreads both genetically and orally. Many of us act as its carriers without ever realizing it.

And the only way to rid ourselves of it is to understand that so long as we live, we will encounter fear. Every single one of us will at times be afraid. However, it is in those moments, when our hearts beat a little faster, when our stomach clenches, that we must press on and do the thing that fear is telling us NOT to do. (Unless, of course, it's telling you not to walk across a busy four-lane highway with a blindfold on. That's not fear, that's basic intelligence.)

Understand that "Fear" is most vulnerable when it reveals itself physically in us. Every time you take a stand against it -- when you make the call you don't want to make, when you confront the person, when you tell the truth, when you accept the challenge -- your confidence grows. Soon enough you begin to see change in your life, because the things that once stood like roadblocks now look like speed bumps.

One life. Many lifetimes.

The transition from one lifetime to another is sometimes clear. A new job. A break in a long-term relationship. Other times, however, it is more like a long bend in the road instead of a simple fork. Whichever way our life changes doesn't matter, because for those who seek to grow, we will face the same obstacles, the same roadblocks, the same dissidents and proletizers who will work hard to pin us to a single life. They will offer up phrases such as "the real world" or "suck it up" or "that's life" or any other number of word combinations designed to keep you in one square your entire life. It's understandable, because it's easier when everyone knows who we are and what role we're occupying. The goofy uncle. The ultra neat homemaker. The cranky niece. The radical feminist. The crazy dreamer. We label others, and when we do, we label ourselves.

When we label ourselves, we limit ourselves.

One life. Many lifetimes.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be many things. I still do. But whatever I do, I will always be the same man. I will change and I hope to grow, I desperately hope to follow in the footsteps of my Hero and look more like Him. But that doesn't mean I must stay in the same lifetime to echo the life of Jesus. In fact, it probably means that I should be even more open to change -- not only in life, but also in thought and deed -- because what matters isn't the tie or dress or apron I wear at work (my apron is a nice, incandescent green, by the way) but the heart of the life that beats beneath it.

We can dress ourselves up in different clothes or occupations, we can wear the politics of our job or religion so that we look a certain way, but no matter what lifetime we exist in, the life beneath it is the only one that matters. Because that is the life that will touch those around you. That is the life that will make friends and care about others wherever they are. That is the life that will admit its mistakes and humble itself before God and others.

One life. Many lifetimes.

It's easy to lose sight of our purpose in the hectic pace of our society. It's easy to get discouraged by those who seek to pin us down. And it's easy to allow fear to drive us from following the path and passion of what God has called us to. My prayer is that you will begin to live in the present. That no matter where you find yourself, no matter how many changes you go through, no matter how many lifetimes you have lived, that you will not allow fear to stand in your way. But that you will recognize that you have been given one life; a life capable of greatness and humility, of love and honour, and of joy and contentment.

-Steve

The World’s Nastiest F*** Word

Changing Your Life by Chasing Your Dreams

"Most people prefer unhappiness over uncertainty."
-Timothy Ferriss

I was sitting on my leather couch, just staring at the television screen. Images flickered into my subconscious but I wasn’t processing them. I cradled the beer in my hands and glanced over in the corner. A nearly empty case sat beside the refrigerator, one I’d purchased just a couple of days earlier. I wasn’t a big drinker, but lately I’d found the increasing need to find some solace there. Numbing my brain when I came home from work every night to help me fall asleep so I could steel myself to get up for the next day.

It was a Friday night, and I tried to psych myself up. I tried to remind myself that for the next two days I’d be free, but I couldn’t escape the fact that on Monday the cycle would begin again.
How many drinks and sleepless nights would it take? How many times would I have to lie to myself before anything changed? I took a swig from the bottle and shut off the TV. The biggest problem was that my… unhappiness... seemed completely nonsensical. I was making pretty good money. I was working with students I loved. I had security. I had weekends and summers off, along with two weeks at Christmas and another week in March. I had time to write. I never had to worry about my bills or having enough to go out with my friends. And things hadn’t been this good spiritually in a long time. I liked my church, was part of a theatre group, and felt like I was growing and learning in my faith.

And yet, here I am on another Friday night, trying to numb this void in my life.

What I needed to do another examination. Yes, there were good things in my life, but what was driving this misery? Why did I dread work so much? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I wasn’t just slightly unhappy, I was miserable! I hated going into work, although I loved my kids, because work was such a negative environment. The leadership was micromanagement. It wasn't simply not empowering, it was completely discouraging. So much so that I’d had a run-ins with my bosses about their tendency to pick at every little thing. I'd been given little or no authourity despite a decade in the field and there was no room to grow in the position. I also hated the daily, Monday to Friday routine. I felt trapped by it. And while it was true that I had time to write, most of the time I was so emotionally exhausted simply trying to cope at work that I came home too weary to create.

And while i had my own place, my apartment felt like a mausoleum, and every time I started to get ahead financially, I’d end up buying something to make me feel better. I couldn’t explain it, but somehow I understood that I was a square peg being squeezed into a round hole, and that if I didn’t do something soon, it would be too late.

But what could I do? I was thirty four years old. I’d thought about going back to school, but I’d hesitated every time I started thinking about the cost or the moving or the change. Besides, I was too old to start a new career.

Two weeks later, I was sitting with my successful and motivated friend, Jackie, having our weekly coffee. Our conversation bounced from politics to social issues to philosophy. As always, I felt it enlivening as we danced from subject to subject. When I mentioned the thought of going back to school, she leaped onto it immediately.

“You should do it.”

“Yeah, but, Jax, I’m still-“

“You’re a total smarty pants, and you’re not happy.”

“What do you mean? I’m okay. I love the kids-“

“I know you love the students. But you hate everything else. Besides, what’s the worst thing that can happen?”

Two other friends echoed her comments. I hadn’t realized how much my unhappiness had revealed itself. Five months later, I picked up the final piece of garbage from my apartment and left my life behind. It’s been a move fraught with many things this past year, but no regrets. My life is new, and it gets brighter every day, even when the bulb burns a little dim some weeks.

The greatest change in my life, without question, is how I deal with the f*** word.

The world’s nastiest f*** word.

Fear.

Most of us live in fear. From the moment we wake up – what will happen at work, where are the kids, I forgot to call about the car, I’m so unhappy in my relationship – our day is generally governed by our fears. Most of us, without even realizing it, spend our day trying to put a positive spin on our life instead of working to change it. As Ferriss has said, most people DO prefer unhappiness over uncertainty. The key word is ‘security.’ Although the self-inflicted boundaries we impose upon ourselves are tight and imposing, well, at least we know what’s it’s like to live there. Sure. That’s what prisoners say about their prison cells. And most of us will not challenge those boundaries, even though we’ve created them, because we feel they somehow make us safe.

Think about how ludicrous that sounds. We create invisible boundaries that no one else can see, and then proclaim ourselves safe. Why? And what makes those boundaries so safe, especially if no one else can see them?

I can hear my dissenters already. “Steve, that sounds like a great theory, but we live in the real world.” Do you? What is the real world? I’ve heard that expression my whole life, and I’ve yet to identify what it means except when it is offered as a pat answer as to why we shouldn’t strive for whatever passions God has given us. It is generally offered as a term of discouragement, by people who don’t realize that they’re miserable, to persuade other people to join them in their misery.

What’s most saddening is how prevalent fear is within the church. It says in 1 John “I have not given you a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and of sound mind.” I could spend an hour breaking down that verse, but for now, understand that what I said about our everyday lives, is true in the church.

We’re afraid to change how we worship, afraid to discuss certain topics, afraid to associate with certain people, afraid to re-examine what we truly believe. And while God has said that He has given us something other than fear, we have chosen fear as our primary dwelling place. In many instances, the church has so established its identity in these roots of fear, that we will persecute the very people we are called to love simply because WE ARE AFRAID. We establish religious codes, books, and policies that have little to do with the Bible, and that revolve mostly around our fears about what would happen 'if.'

“But Steve, what will happen if we change the way we do church? What will happen if we focus on love? What will happen if women start preaching? What will happen if we focus on mercy? What will we be communicating if we say God loves gay people?”

Fear. Fear. Fear.

We use fear mongering to evangelize. “Hell awaits! Fire and brimstone and eternal torment!” It is not the love and grace of God, of what knowing Jesus means, of enacting the Kingdom of God now, or of finding joy in the purposes and passions of life. Nope.

Fear. Fear. Fear.

Most of us have become quite good at rationalizing our fear. I did. I would talk about how great my students were, how much I felt like I was learning, and on my particularly bad days, how I felt that God had called me to ‘this life’, unhappy or not. What I wouldn’t admit, was that I was simply afraid to change my life. Afraid of what would happen if I left my secure job. Afraid of where I would end up. Afraid of who I’d be living with… what if I didn’t get along with my room mates? Didn’t I need the time alone?

Fear. Fear. Fear.

It’s been quite a journey these past seven months, and there have been days of brokenness, of loneliness, of sorrow. Lately however, as each challenge raises its ugly head, only to find that I have not only faced it but conquered it, the fear dims. The past three months I haven’t watched a minute of television. Back in Ottawa, I watched an average of six hours a night to ‘keep me company.’ These days, I don’t need the company. I have nine terrific housemates. I’ve watched my blog double its traffic and multiply around the world. I've taught myself a professional film editing program in the process of producing three short films. I write daily now, with a lot of energy, and have seen my email load quadruple.

Most important, for me at least, is that my faith seems to find regular expression. In my contentment, I find myself better able to reflect God’s love and compassion to those around me. Each morning is spent in solitude and prayer. Even better, I wake up in the mornings as if breathing for the first time.

What conquers fear, you ask. The answer is simple. Action.

Action conquers fear. Procrastination and excuses fertilize fear.

By doing what I thought I couldn’t do (changing my life, moving, going back to school), I faced a huge fear and gained confidence. Confidence is not something you re born with, it is something you earn. With action comes confidence, and with confidence comes freedom.

Freedom is a wonderful thing and it is the sole reason Jesus came. He did not come to save us from hell, but to set us free. Free to live as God has called us, to break the yoke of our sinful nature so that we could live as God intended. (Understand one thing, God calls us by way of our passions and giftings. Too often we have been taught to work on our weaknesses. Don’t!! Stop spending hours and hours on your weaknesses! Focus on your strengths, what excites you, and whatever makes your pulse quicken.)

Whatever happens, it is time to stop allowing your fears or the fears of others to dictate your life.

Look, most of us do not like being uncomfortable, which is why we are so reluctant to try new things. This week, do one thing that makes you uncomfortable. The purpose of this exercise is to get used to being uncomfortable. Don't be afraid to take a good long look at yourself, at your life, and finally, to start thinking about the possibilities. People will inevitably try to ‘calm you down’, to reset you in ‘the real world’ (i.e. their world of misery and mediocrity). My prayer this week is that you will not allow them to cut you down or rule you with their fears. God has in store for you more than you could ever imagine, a life of freedom and purpose, and yes, even joy. Perhaps it’s time that you let go of your fears, and see what God can do…

-Steve